


lamentation

by orphan_account



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Everything Hurts, Gen, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-02-08
Packaged: 2017-11-28 13:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/675106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe if she'd called out to her more loudly, maybe if she'd found the right words, Sayaka would have woken up from Oktavia's nightmare.  Maybe if she'd supported her more, maybe if she'd been a better friend, she wouldn't have fallen into despair at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lamentation

**Author's Note:**

> timeline 3 headcanon. didn't really have [this track](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivs4fSL6nDo) in mind but I like delerium.

The world doesn’t need a failure like me around.

“That’s not true!”

I’m worthless, I should just disappear.

“No!”

Nobody would care if I did.

“I care!

Sayaka-chan, where are you?!”

There was a sudden flare of magic--the train station! She turned and ran, chest and eyes burning. Kyoko and Mami and Homura zeroed in on the location just as she did, too, but it was still too late as Sayaka’s body hit the ground and a witch’s roar echoed around them, as the orchestral barrier closed in.

 

She woke up in a cold sweat, bent double in an effort not to throw up. But she hadn’t eaten in days. There was nothing to throw up.

Homura didn't seem to be in the house--she must have left for witch patrol already. They were supposed to go together! Now that they were the only Mitakihara puella magi... they had to watch out for each other. Maybe one had just materialized nearby. Or, Madoka wondered as she clambered hurriedly out of bed, maybe she didn't want to wake her. She’d do the same. Neither of them slept much. And when she did, she kept seeing Kyoko’s gem shatter, kept seeing herself taking aim at Mami’s head, kept seeing Sayaka collapse to the floor over and over again...

She stopped, slid a hand under her pillow to withdraw the charm she'd hidden there. Cold, wrought-iron, crisscrossed with musical notations. Oktavia's grief seed. All that was left of her friend. She curled her fingers over the black surface, swallowed back tears, but it stayed icy to the touch.

She hadn't used it. She didn't want to, she didn't want to let it go, especially not to Kyubey. But she probably couldn't keep it forever, not if the witch could be born from the seed again.

Maybe if she'd called out to her more loudly, maybe if she'd found the right words, Sayaka would have woken up from Oktavia's nightmare. Maybe if she'd supported her more, maybe if she'd been a better friend, she wouldn't have fallen into despair at all.

Maybe if Oktavia's grief seed was corrupted enough, she'd come back and Madoka would have another chance to reach her.

She stared down at the dark metal. Then slipped it in her pocket, but she could still feel its chill burn through the fabric. The notes of the orchestra still haunted her--an eternal, despairing lamentation.

Maybe she didn't want to put Sayaka through that pain again.


End file.
